My Best Friend Is Gone

by Gerry
(Waldron MI)

I remember the first day I saw Spencer, 6 weeks old at our local fairgrounds. He was the one that walked up to me and made his eye contact. He was one of the most loving and faithful friends God could have given to me.

As he grew over the years, I grew with him. Bad times and good times he was always there for me, no matter what. I can remember so many things he did to make me so happy for years.

I loved when I would say give me a hug and he would put his head against my chest. I watched him share my life as I did his with a bond no one could ever understand. I guess that I just thought he would grow old with me and always be here.

I went through about a month of giving him medications after finding out he had heart issues. My vet said the good news is it was treatable, but it was not true, the medication was just to help relieve the problems.

He coughed a lot and would cough up a little fluid, and it broke my heart. I even said to him Spencer please don't leave me, I am trying to help you, Daddy will get you better medication and you will be okay.

It was July 29th when Spencer just had coughing all day and night, I tried to get him to lay down but he was up all night in my room. I was exhausted and fell asleep. That morning on July 30th I heard the bathroom door so I got up out of bed and could see spots of blood on the floor and on carpet. I LOST IT INSIDE. I cried and said I am so sorry baby boy, mommy is getting your medicine.

I told my wife to meet me at the vets, I was bringing him in. I did not get him inside before he coughed up fluid and blood on the pavement. The vet assistant came out and rushed him inside. She called another vet because ours was out on call, gave him a shot but never helped. When the vet got there we talked, he said could up meds but he still would cough up blood and fluid, I said I don't want him to suffer. That's when he said do you want to put him down, I said no but if he is going to suffer and not get better, he said he is not.

That's when my heart broke and my wife said it's up to you he has been with you the longest. This was just the hardest thing to say yes to, this is my little boy, my best friend. How can I do this to him after all we have shared together. I had to do it for him. If I could ever forget that moment when the vet said it will be fast, I was in shock I think.

They had a white blanket on the floor and the vet sat on the floor as I held him while he put the needle in. Oh my heart stopped, as in a second he dropped in my hands and was gone. I remember him laying there and I had my hand on his head and said it's okay I'm here with you, but he was gone.

My worst thing has been I had to leave him there at the vets,because our ground is so hard you can't dig it by hand. I have never forgave myself for not bringing him home. I went back into the room after they were out, and I said I am so sorry Spencer, Daddy loves you so much and I teared up and gave him the last kiss I would ever give him.

I can't tell anyone it gets better or how long. I have pictures of him out. I tell him I love him day and night, and I WILL till the day I die. Never forget never give up, But never let them suffer if you love them. I will pray for all of us who know the hurt of losing our pets, and a part of our families. God Bless our friends on 4 paws.