Until Your Last Breath

by Crystal Snow
(Mnl, PH)

Before sharing Felix's death, I wanna share how I adopted him as my pet. It was summer in April 2016 when my grandma and I went out to buy a pizza, while we're walking home I heard some little "meows". I stopped and looked around then I finally found a kitten on the roof of the small business stall, I reached out for him and my grandma asked the person who saw us.

"Does he have any owner?"

"No, I actually put him up there to keep him safe."

And right away then, I decided to keep him. My Mom actually freaked out because we went home bringing a two boxes of pizza and a kitten. She even got mad me knowing we will be having more like 10+ cats plus Felix, but I told them that I'll take care of him. Watching him grow was the best moment of my life, I gave him a warm bath, feeding him almost every time and keeping him warm and giving all my love.

When he turned more like 5 months, I decided to teach him to speak. Well not literally speak but to answer every time I ask him, and guess what? He learned, that was the best part. When I asked him if he is hungry, he will meow at me 3 - 4 times and pulling his tongue out so I can give him food. He is doing aegyo (acting cute) every time he is hungry, I also taught him how to lay and sit down. He was a smart cat, very smart cat. Whenever everyone is leaving me alone at the house, he was always there at my side not leaving me. Even when I'm taking a bath he will stay outside the door waiting for me, even when I'm sleeping alone he was there lying down beside me.

I really love the way how he acts when I'm going to kiss him, he will bow his head and let me kiss his head. What a sweet cat isn't? He will wake me up with his continuous meowing whenever I'm still in bed at late time, he will continuously meowing and turning his back on me whenever I came home late.

But then ... Everything has changed ...

December 2017, before the Christmas starts he had a fever and I've got panicked since that's the first time I saw him like that. I gave him a cold compress and gave him warmth using my ripped shirt plus some of our blankets. I gave him water by using syringe (w/o needle) to help him drink, I didn't give up until he got well. My favorite part of this while he was sick, he was sleeping beside me. I actually woke up when I almost squashed him, but then when I stretched out and made myself comfortable he actually took my arm then hugged it then he never let it go until morning.

December 25 2017, we got home from my uncle's and I was excited to see him again. When we saw each other, I was really happy. I gave them foods and told them sorry for leaving them, he ate a lot that day which made me happy. :)

December 31 2017, it was New Year's celebration and there's a lot of food to eat. I always give him fish since that made him strong a little bit, but then I noticed he looked so gloomy. I mean, you'll know if the cat was happy or not right? I just told him that it's New Year and I can finally buy him a collar with his name engrave on it.

He went so fine and alright for the next day but then ...

January 4, 2018: I went home when my sister quickly told me to look at Felix, they said he felt weak so sudden. I quickly went to the bedroom and kissed him, he looked so weak but I told him it will be fine and I'll find a vet that night so I can take him on the next day. I took a shower and laid down still him lying down on his spot, he can't calm that night. He will get up then lay down and do it again, I let him do whatever his position goes to make him comfortable.

January 5, 2018 @ 1AM: my little brother called me out to check Felix out, he told me he can't discharge his poop well. I rushed out and started to comfort him, I softly massaged his tummy to helped him poop. I let him take a little medicine to help him poop also and help him drink a lot of water. I was calm knowing he will be fine sooner because he wasn't that dehydrated but still I want him to take to the vet. I even told him to get well soon since i want him to bring with me to Korea soon.

January 5, 2018 @ 4PM: I heard he meowed so loud made me get up from my bed and went outside then I saw my grandma shaking him, I quickly rushed to him and seeing him like choking to death. I lifted him and tried to shake him to know if he ate something, I started crying when he stopped doing that. I grabbed the ripped shirt and covered him with that and hugged him, I cried in despair knowing I can't bring him back to me. I cried and shake him again to wake him up but it didn't work, I lost Felix. 4:45AM he took his final breath and I stared at his figure there lying on the floor senseless, I don't know! I did everything! Why does he need to leave me just like that? I stayed there beside him until the sun goes up, but I never knew that when the sun goes up he will never get up.