The Boys

My Experiences In Dealing With
The Death Of A Dog

I have now loved and lost many many animals over the decades. But I have to say losing dogs is probably one of the hardest experiences of my life. Probably because they share so much of our lives. They are with us daily, sharing our routines, through the ups and downs, even when we leave the house, at least for me, it is rare that I am without my dogs.

The dogs pictured in the header of this website, are all my real dogs, and all of them are dogs I have personally lost. You will also see them featured in countless photos and videos throughout this website, and also on my social media pages.

The dog on the second from the right is Henry, my Golden Retriever, my first dog as an adult. Next to him on the far right is Red, my tri coloured English Cocker Spaniel. Next to Henry is George, my second Chinese Crested, next to him is Gryphon, my first Chinese Crested, and next to Gryphon is Breck Boo Baloo, my Chihuahua. Collectively, these five bundles of joy were known as "The Boys".

Next to Boo, as I called him, is Voyin. Voyin, who died suddenly and unexpectedly only two weeks ago as I write this, from a suspected blood clot, was my paralysed rescue dog from the war in Ukraine. It took an entire year from when he was rescued and I signed up to adopt him, for him to get to me, due to the borders being closed, with me not knowing if he was ever going to make it to me, and after all he had been through, I really was not expecting to lose him at only age 8, and after him only having been with me for three years.

Voyin was part of my new group of dogs after losing all of The Boys, and part of my current group of differently abled rescue dogs from all around the world, collectively known as The Wobbly Dog Squad.

After many years of rescuing elderly and sick unwanted cats, and wanting a dog for a very long time, but being told by the controlling manipulative narcissists in my life, (but which I did not recognise at that time), that I should not get one "yet", and should keep waiting for some ever changing date in the future when I would be "allowed", I eventually stood up for myself and along came Henry.

After four years together, and because I had read research at that time that had said the best time to get a second dog was after four years of bonding with your first dog, I then got Red.

Red and Henry - Both at Rainbow Bridge

A few years after that, and probably because I'd spent far too long listening to the Pet Shop Boy's "I Want A Dog" which has the lyrics "I want a dog, a Chihuahua, When I get back to my small flat, I want to hear somebody bark, Oh, you can get lonely, I want a dog." I decided I was ready for another dog to join us, and saw an advert for a Chihuahua who had been returned to his breeder at six months. This was Breck Boo Baloo, so called because I couldn't decide between the names. He joined us and we became a family of four.

Boo and The Artist Formerly Known As Stew - Both now At Rainbow Bridge

About a year or so later, I saw an advert from a couple who were looking to rehome their dog. They had got him when they were both working from home, but had now had to go back to working away from home full time, and he was not coping well with this. So Gryphon joined us, and we became a family of five.

Henry, Red, Boo and Gryphon - Now all at Rainbow Bridge

Finally about a year later, I saw an advert from a woman who was in council housing, and had two dogs, but was now being moved into housing that only allowed her to keep one. So George joined us, and we became a family of six.

Henry, Red, Boo, Gryphon and George - All now at Rainbow Bridge

I spent many happy years with The Boys, in sunshine, wind, rain and snow, and cuddled up on the sofa and in front of the fire and TV together. They loved me and they loved each other.

Then one by one, I lost them all. Even though it was years ago, I am still sitting here in tears typing this. Not just because I lost them, but because even now years later, some of their losses were so unjust, and are so unjust, they upset me still. Even when you know you did everything you could, when you know other people did not, it still remains an injustice.

Again, sadly I know I am not alone in this. Life, the universe, and people can behave unjustly and unfairly. and often people are just left to pick up the pieces of what remains. Over the decades of running this site, people have shared with me hundreds and thousands of their stories, and even on top of the general trauma of loss, often they are stories of injustices, of loved ones taken cruelly and too soon, of lives cut short suddenly and unexpectedly, which makes their grief that much harder to bear.

That is again, another reason why this site exists, to comfort and remind people that they are not alone in these experiences, and that so many other people have faced, experienced and lived through these things, and we have survived, and made it to the other side of them.

You probably will not feel like this right now, but things WILL be okay again. They may not be exactly as they were. They will be different. But they will be okay again. Eventually, as you will see even just from reading my experiences, grief turns into hope again. In a future where you see nothing, just blackness and nothing, there comes a point where the light starts to break through again, and memories that break you, start to make you smile again.