Missy, our Sweet Angel

by Angela and Greg Ladner
(Harrisonburg, Va)

We had Missy since she was a baby, she was the only child for 4 years before we got her sister

I took we Missy to the groomer and felt three little lumps near her rectum. I called the vet and took her there a day later. The vet come back with the worst news ever, that it was a malignant tumor and nothing could be done. I was devastated, but I still could not grasp that the vet was right. The vet we normally see called, so had me the next day, she knew I would not be happy until I exhausted every option out there.

We returned a week later to the vet and the tumor was growing at a massive rate, so she referred us to an Oncologist. I stayed in denial. The trip to the Oncologist confirmed my worst nightmare it was anal carcinoma and they could not remove all the tumor. They told me I could do surgery and then we would have to go to a clinic 4 hours away and leave her a week at time for 4 weeks for radiation, we would only get her on the weekends.

My first selfish response was do it. After taking all the information in and talking to my husband, I called my vet. The vet told me to put myself in Missy's shoes, how is she going to feel not understanding why she could not come home and why she hurt. As much as it killed me she was right. We always said we would never have any of our babies suffer. We decided to do palliative care and love her for as long as we could. Missy never acted sick or even like anything was wrong, I was very hopeful we would have a couple months with her.

The night before Missy got really sick, she had a cheeseburger and crawled in bed and cuddled. That night she got really sick. I spent all day Sunday watching her decline even more. I laid with her all day that day, I told her you tell momma and I will let you go. That evening my husband came home and he said it was time. This was so hard for him, they had such an amazing relationship, she was his baby so I knew he felt it too.

The next day at the vet's office the receptionist and vet were both crying, Missy had such an impact on everyone. I questioned myself and if we were doing the right thing and the vet told me that she knew Missy had made her decision, so as I held her face and told her it would be okay and we love her, she peacefully went to be with the Lord.

The pain made me just want to collapse, I still cry and have a hard time dealing with it. I find peace knowing that we respected Missy's needs and not our own selfish needs. The vet told us we did everything possible for her, that we did more than 90% of her clients do for their animals. It is just sad because I would have paid whatever it took if I could have kept her with us. However, the Lord wanted his Angel and there was nothing we could do.

I know one day we all will be together again, and not have the pain or ever have to worry about being separated again. We look forward to that day when we can see her again. Anyone that is going through this the best thing I can tell you is, it is not going to be easy, it is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but always keep your babies best interest in mind and put your selfish needs aside.

I also feel that you will know when it is time, they will tell you, but do not ignore the signs just so you can keep them longer it is unfair to them. It is like that saying, if you love something you have to let it go and it will come back to you, well one day you will have your baby back just in a much better place.

I would like to tell Missy, we love you, miss you and one day we will see you again but until then you remain in our hearts and memories.

We love you Sweet Angel.

Missy Ladner Oct 2004-March 30, 2015