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Your Pet Loss Diaries'Susan & Dinkie', USAAbout Dinkie
I got Dinkie when he was only a few weeks old, he moved in with me and my other cat, Petie. Dinkie was so small that he would nurse on Petie (who is a male as well), I never thought Dinkie would grow to be a big boy... I have had him for the past 15 years and I have always called him my "perpetual toddler", he has such a great personality and is such a great boy... This past Friday he was having a hard time breathing and was lethargic, he did not eat the treats he usually eats before bed and would only walk a few steps before laying down... I decided to call the vet on Saturday (yesterday) and took him in for an emergency appointment even though he ate a few treats and was walking a little further before laying down.... when I took him to the vet they immediately put oxygen on him and the vet said his heart did not sound right. She took chest x rays of him and came in to tell me that his chest was filled with fluid so much that his lungs were displaced and his heart ECG was showing his beats as abnormal probably because not enough oxygen was getting to it. I could have him transferred to a 24 hour care facility and he could see a cardiologist where they would drain most of the fluid but given his age it could be a tumor causing all of this and there was no guarantee that he would survive all of the tests and treatment.... She also said she could drain some fluid off so I could take him home for a couple days and decide what I wanted to do but there was no way she could be sure he would be okay for the next few days. I was then asked to decide what I wanted to do, and felt like the only option was to put him to sleep... He was my boy, I have 2 other cats but none loved me as much as Dinkie did.... he would wait for me at the top of the steps and just look lovingly at me... I worry I made the wrong decision even after the vet told me she would do the same if this were her cat... but he was not her cat... he was mine.. She did not have the days of love from him that I had.... She did not raise him from a baby and talk to him daily like I did... She will never know what an amazing boy he really was... and I miss him deeply.... I am not sure how to lift this heaviness that seems to have consumed my heart....... but I was blessed that he was mine... and at first I did not want to have his ashes but decided to call them and let them know I do want him... I want him with me so when I buy a house he can be there with us, his family.
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