Your Pet Loss Stories

'Sam'

by Megan
(Cumbria)

My Mum got Sam before I was born, but when I was born he was still a puppy.

He would sit in my buggy and cot and follow me everywhere we went looking after us. We got Tia when I was 1. They bonded instantly and had lots of puppies.

Growing up Sam would lick away any tears I had, scare away my fears at night and be my protector, my best friend, I could tell him anything. He was everything to me. My childhood, my best friend and when I turned 15 he started to get ill.

His legs would go out, he couldn't move much and he didn't eat or drink much. A week before he was put down my parents told me what was going to happen. I don't think I've ever cried so much.

I made it so he had the best week of his life. Going to the beach, the river, sitting in the garden, letting him sleep in my bed and then the day came when he was to be put down, but I couldn't say goodbye. I couldn't say it. I tried but all that would come out was a sob.

I looked him in the eyes and said I'll see you later and hugged him. I waited for him to come home hoping he might but he didn't. Everyone cried. I felt hollow inside and the worst part was hearing my other dog Tia cry and pine for him, hearing the loss in her voice. She hadn't just lost her husband, she lost her best friend and cuddle buddy.

The hardest part was telling her that she couldn't see Sam for a while, that was 2 years ago. I don't understand why I can't stop feeling so sad or stop crying about it because he's happy now, he's not in pain. I wish I could go back to that moment and tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. I carry a small necklace with his ashes inside so he's always close.

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