Your Pet Loss Diaries

Sept 9, 2012

by Barb Newberger
(Kalamazoo, MI)

5 months have passed and the pain is still here. With the change of season's approaching the thought of not spending the holidays with our precious little baby girl Anna breaks my heart.

We have a motor home we always took to the camp grounds, but haven't been there this year since our sweet little Anna went to heaven. It just doesn't feel the same without her camping with us. (We have Sila's and Jesse, but I feel they would be taking over Anna's area of the motorhome she enjoyed). And that is hard to picture.

Anna loved to watch the children at Halloween. Some costumes she would gruff at others she would wag her tail. Anna would always run to the door when she heard them yell - TRICK OR TREAT. She never left my side until it was over. Then I would give her a small treat, let her out back to do her business, then off to bed with my husband and I.

Thanksgiving dinner, we always took pictures for our scrapbook. She loved sitting in the front room with us eating her plate of turkey, potatoes and gravy, green beans and a half of a biscuit while watching tv. If she finished before us, she would come and beg. We always gave in and shared with her.

The other day (and I know it's way too early to play this - it just puts me in the mood to clean when I have no energy) I thought I would play some Christmas music to help put me in the mood for cleaning, but all it did was bring lots of tears, sadness and a feeling of emptiness. It made me realize that our little Anna will not be here to celebrate the Christmas season with us and open her presents she loved getting. She was just like a kid during this holiday. We always had to hide the box of bones or large chew bone, because she would sniff it out no matter where under the tree it was and begin to unwrap it. Anna was so smart. Even tho she looked animal, she was truly a human through and through.

At the strike of Midnight on New Years, we would gather together (Mike, Anna and I) and we would wear a Happy New Years hat and have our picture taken together.

It's going to be hard this Fall and Winter season as I am sure it was for us when our first furfriend little girl - Nikki went to heaven 10 years earlier. I just miss them both so much. They were family (children).

Even tho Jesse and Silas are now our furbabies, it just feels odd this time of year. Momma misses you little Anna. You are aways in my heart and on my mind. Have fun and I will see you when my time comes. I love you little girl. xoxoxo. Mom :(