Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

Feb 2, 2010

by Chris R
(Alexandria, VA)

It still hurts when I think about my baby being taken away from me too soon. It always hurts when the death of someone you love comes. We had 5 cats and the oldest one is 17 yrs old. It seems, that after his birthday he started to get sick and now he has a mass pressed against his trachea.

He cannot meow or hiss anymore. We have to give him a plate of food so he eats instead of going downstairs to the second level because he gets out of breath too easily. We found out tonight he has Carcinoma..It had to of been over a 2 week period it turned to cancer because we had this test done within the month and there was no cancer.

Now we have to take our 17 yr old to Oncology to see if there is a chance. Lord knows, I have already spent over $1,000 in tests on him alone and have no idea what we are looking at for even more tests or is there even a possibility he can be saved. We do not know if we are living on borrowed time and again the uncertainty is just as hard. Like I did with Silverbelle I have went to prayer websites asking for them to pray for him like I did for her. He has a sister who is his littermate and I fear when he dies it will not be long for her either.

The grief is starting over again and I stop and think how scared Stylus is and how he is not ready to leave his loving family and I think of my husband and how devastated he will be.. I think about many things right now and all I know is that I cannot be angry at God for what is happening all I know is I wish he does not allow him to suffer... I go to church every Sunday to prayer for my little girl Silverbelles soul.

Right now, I am typing this from another room I do not want him to see me crying and become scared... Animals are a blessing but it is times like this you gotta wonder why?

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