Your Pet Loss Diaries

Mar 30, 2013

by Dayle
(Watertown, CT)

Dear Ollie...

I haven't written in a while. So much has happened. Wendy got pregnant. I saw her together with Ziggy exactly 1 year to the day of your passing. To me... it was a sign. I thought to myself... if somehow you might be coming back to me. I would somehow know. She gave birth to 5 girls & one boy. To me... I had to keep him. I named him Owen. He too...is such a good boy. Sweet & loving.

But still I cry for you every single day Ollie. It just is not getting easier. I still don't know... if it was the right thing to do. To let you go. Sometimes I think to myself... you tried so hard to fight. It wasn't right to put you to sleep. If I had it to do over Ollie... I don't know if I would have.

Knowing what I am feeling now.. .despite everything that happened... was it the right thing to do. I didn't want you to suffer... I couldn't stand leaving you at the hospital anymore... alone... going through things I could not see.... & not knowing what they did to you. You couldn't understand why I left you.

I thought to myself back then.... no one is going to hurt my boy anymore. I didn't want you to pass away without me by your side. Alone. You never left my side when I was so sick. You took such good care of me Little Buddy. But I couldn't do the same for you. I ask GOD every single day... WHY? HE has not given me an answer yet.

I hope that there is a place... that when my days here are over... I will find you my sweet boy. I miss you so much Ollie. Part of me is gone. I need so much to find you again. I love you baby boy.