Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Dea & Samantha'


Jan 5, 2013

Hi my sweet pea ~

Finally, the year that took you from me, the worst year of my life ~ 2012 ~ is over. Although, I don’t see any year from now on, being any better. I hate this ME ~ the ME without YOU. I’m just going through the motions. I truly don’t give a shit about anything or anyone anymore. I don’t measure time by the date or the day of the week anymore. The day and date is just one more day that you have been gone. I don’t know if it’s Mon or Thurs or the 5th or the 10th, but I do know you have been gone 99 days . . . in my head and heart I still feel like day 1. I am stuck on Sept. 29, 2012.

I die a little more every time I think I will NEVER see you again. I miss all the silly things you did ~ what was it with you and fish food? I would have to try and sneak to feed the fish. No matter how quiet I was or where you were in our apartment, you would know and come running.

Remember that time your Uncle Bill brought me some fish food in a baggie? I watched you catch a whiff of it (through the baggie), I watched you smell it down like a drug sniffing dog, I watched you jump on the table, grab it and jump down but you were so little and your legs were so short that you had to hold your head up so high so you wouldn’t step on the baggie.

It made you walk so funny and when you would step on the baggie, you would trip a little but you kept on going. I laughed so hard at you. I also watched you tear the baggie open (making such a mess) and start eating the fish food so fast, before I could take it away. you were so proud of yourself, I didn’t have the heart to take it away from you right away, and drinking out of the fish tank. Even though I always had a bowl of water for you, you still drank fish water. Or if I didn't put the lid on the fish food tight enough, how quick you learned to just knock it off the table, the lid would come off and spill
all over.

I miss you waiting in the bathroom when I took a shower. You are the smartest kitten I have ever known.

I miss seeing you. I miss touching you. I miss hearing you. I miss feeding you. I miss combing you. I miss playing with you. I miss talking to you. I miss YOU . . .

I just want my cat back!! I just want my cat back!! I just want my Sammy back!!

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