Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Dea & Samantha'


Nov 6, 2012

Good morning my sweet pea ~
How was your night?
I love you Sammy...

You are the last thought in my head before I fall asleep, You are the first thought in my head when I wake up and You are in my head every second in between.

I leave the window and screen in my room open so my cats can go in and out. When Pooh Butt or Rocco come in and I'm not in my room, they will go from room to room until they find me or just wait on the bed until I come back ~ but not my Sammy, when she comes in and I'm not there, she will stand in the doorway for a second listening to see if she can hear my voice (if she does) she starts meowing as loud as she can and starts walking toward my voice ~ if she doesn't hear my voice, she starts walking down the hall meowing as loud as she can until I come from where ever I am and say 'I'm right here mama, whatcha need?

While she's sleeping, suddenly she will wake up and meow real loud and look around. I touch her and say 'I'm right here mama, you're ok' and she goes back to sleep. I miss that... to her no one else existed. If someone called her name, she ignored them. If someone else fed her, she wouldn't eat it. She slept with no one but me. Whatever she needed she came to me. If she was outside, she would jump in the window and poke her head around the curtain and meow at me, I would say 'Hi my love, thanks for checking in' she would jump down and go about her business.

She sits under my window and meows (loudly) and I say 'What mama?' and she meows. Then I would say 'I don't want to come outside, you come in here.' Finally I would go outside and she would be sitting there straight as a board listening. As soon as I came around the corner of the house, she would either fall over and roll around or she would run to me meowing so loud. She is always as happy to see me as I am her. I miss that little face so much I can't stand it. When she meows, her mouth opens so wide her eyes close.

I still hear her calling for me. I still feel her jump on the bed. I still hear her jump in the window and wait for her little face to poke around the curtain and when it doesn't all I can do is cry. I still get 3 plates for breakfast and dinner. I still call 3 names when looking for them. I still look for her. I will always look for her....

Who loves you more than me? Nobody.
What am I gonna do without you? Slowly die from a broken heart.


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