Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Gabrielle & Alfie'

Alfie Down

Nov 21, 2012

by Gabrielle
(SW Scotland)

Alfie was beginning to recover from the anaesthetic and biopsy. I would not have agreed to the biopsy if they had asked first. I think these things are too traumatic. Alan - the vet - says we could not have gone forward until he knew what he was dealing with. But gone forward with what?

Well, my worst fears have been realised and Alfie is positive for cancer. I got the news last night and my world caved in. I feel physically ill, can't eat and have intestines like a garbage grinder. I am sure he has picked up on this, though I do try hard to sound cheerful. This is stupid as animals are much better tuned to mood and atmosphere than we are.

Feel so guilty thinking my pessimism has brought this on. This is also stupid as my previous experience with Fudge rang the warning bells.

Alan wanted to know if Alfie had FiV or Leukaemia. I said I don't know. All I know is that Cats Protection vaccinated them for something. I will have to check what for. Somehow I think they don't do blood tests unless there is reason to believe there is a problem.

We are both utterly miserable and all I want to do is go to bed and pull the duvet over my head. But I have to be strong.

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