Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Gabrielle & Alfie'

Grief Overwhelming

Dec 17, 2012

by Gabrielle
(Scotland)

Now that the slight numbness has worn off I feel such surges of pain. It's physical as well as mental. I seem to have a huge stone in my chest.

I try to focus on Alfie's face when he was OK but can't get rid of the last sight of him, looking out of the bedroom window, as if he was taking one last look on all things beautiful. Thankfully it was fine with a clear view of the mountains and estuary and I was consoled that we had given him those 3 years of freedom and happiness.

How could a cat so ill have lived such a joyful life and given us so much love. We are heartbroken, but grateful for the time we had with him.

Jose is not pining but she walks around sniffing where his favourite places were. As I take skirts and trousers out of the wardrobe she can clearly still smell him on them and is puzzled when she can't follow the trail. If the wind rattles the cat flap she rushes out to it expecting him to be coming in. This was her habit as he was always bringing in something for them to play with!
This sadness is unbearable.


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