Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Gabrielle & Alfie'

Very Worried Now

Dec 1, 2012

by Gabrielle Redford

Alfie was fine yesterday. He behaved completely normally. Unfortunately he brought me another present. I hated it but had to pet him and reward him.

The black cat came last night and he was alert and prepared to go out and defend his territory. I was so proud of him. Of course I went out myself to make sure everything was quiet and he came with me then followed me inside and came to bed.

This morning he was again fine. Leslie said he went out early and came in for breakfast and ate well. However, this evening I noticed he was 'swallowing' a lot and didn't eat much in the evening. I have given him raw chicken cubes which slide down easily. Then I prepared some Manuka honey in warm water with a lot of cream. He managed to drink half of it.

He is lying on the bed but not really resting and I notice he has a swollen gland on the right side of his neck. So I am deeply worried. It's amazing how up and down he can be within a few hours. I wish, in a way, he were less active. He needs to rest but it's not his nature.

I have ordered the herbal remedies from USA and they have been posted off. With regard to the Australian remedies, now I am so down I am beginning to think there is no point. Oral cancer mestatasizes so quickly as I know from experience. I feel quite sick tonight but must try to keep up my spirits for Alfie's sake. Also I am aware that I am in danger of neglecting Josie (his Mum) so I overcompensate. She is also getting extra food and treats! Bless

I am 'flaking'. I think if I order the Australian medicine sods law says it will arrive after he has gone. If I don't order it he'll still be here I'll beat myself up thinking I could have helped him sooner. I think I have to go ahead with everything even though it is costly. My head is circling and I have to stop this and try to see clearly. I would give up anything I have to save him.

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