I am not looking forward to this trip and yet I am very excited to see our grandchildren and my family. But it will be the first time I have had to be away from the house where our KC died and I don't want to leave because I feel I am leaving him here. I have some of his remains in a little heart around my neck but I just have to remember KC is with me everywhere. I would think at four and a half weeks I would feel better. I just don't. When will this sadness end and why should I have to fight it all the time.