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Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Naya & Jean'

So... 6 weeks later...

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Feeling Your Loss
by: Anonymous

Hello my name is Dale.

I had a puppy named Blue. He would of turned 3 on Dec 3. He was a maltese only 7 pounds. He was by my side almost every min, he was the love of my life, my soul, I could never imagine anything bad would happen to him.

Early Oct 2008 my life changed. He was taken by a black lab and he died in my arms on the way to the vets. I couldn't believe it still can't. I'm still in shock. I was crying all day all night, can't sleep can't eat for about 2 months. I knew I needed professional help.

I just got married in Sept. Everything was great I was happy. Then I felt like I hit a train head on. I was in hell. I still am sometimes.I would stay in bed all day. I was making my new husband miserable, my kids thought I was taking this thing too hard. I hate to say this but I lived and breathed Blue. How could this happen. How could life be this cruel. I don't understand.

I never blamed the black lab nor was I even mad at him. I felt he didn't do it intentionly. He wasn't even aggressive. He just picked him up and shook him. He bled to death. I watch it all happen and I keep playing the same thing in my mind over and over again. I feel so helpless and weak like this is a cruel joke. A nightmare and I want to wake up and Blue will be by my side.

I kept telling my husband, I need help I can't do this by my self. I can't live without Blue nor do I want to. Somebody please make me understand why this is happening. How could life be so cruel. My husband said to me I was taking this thing too far, he said what about me what about your kids. You have to snap out of it. The problem was I didn't know how. I was told things would get better as time passes they weren't.

I am now fighting through this thing. I've got a new puppy about 3 weeks ago and she is so beautiful. She is helping me through this. I don't expect her to take Blue's place. I just wanted to give the same love and care I felt for Blue and it's working for me. I'm still waking up and going to sleep with Blue on my mind. I still cry. I am still very much in pain. But I also have other people and a pet who need me. I have to be strong for them.

I know now this is not a perfect world. And things live and die. We have no control of. I stop asking why cause I know that question will never be answered. I'm so so sorry and believe me when I say I feel your loss.

Your friend,

Dale Blake

Professional Help
by: Joe

Jean,

My heart goes out to you for what you're going through right now, dealing with the loss of your beloved pet, and now the loss of your job.

I want to echo what Sarah said, though: it will get better.

You mentioned professional help, and I think that sounds like a good idea, a very good one. Right now you need every means to feel better. Trying to handle so much on your own ... please, I know there is a certain kind of value in working out your own problems, but sometimes those problems really are just too much to handle alone.

Admitting you need help actually gives you help. Admitting you need strength actually gives you strength.

With what you're going through right now, professional guidance could go a long way toward making you yourself again. Sometimes life really does throw more at us than we can handle, all of us, and right now is just one of those times in your own life. Please, if you can, seek professional help. It might just be the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please hang in there, okay? As tough as it seems right now, this shall pass, and you will feel better again. You will overcome and be right again.

Please write back often and let me know how you're doing--and please, above all, be good to yourself. Watch your favorite movies over and over again. Read your favorite books. Listen to your favorite songs. Take a long, hot bath. Go for a walk (sometimes even a short walk can do a world of good). Talk to friends and family. And please do consider talking to a professional.

I hope to hear back from you soon.

Joe



It Will Get Better
by: Sarah

Dear Jean

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself, you've lost a beloved pet in awful circumstances, and now you've lost your job too. It must seem like one thing after another.

It might seem as though now you won't have the distraction of work, that you will feel even worse and be thinking of Naya constantly. But maybe this is a good thing, I know it's hard to be positive but you could see it like this - that now you will have time to face your grief head on, and not have to put on a 'brave face' at work.

It might be more intense but hopefully that may also make it easier to work through. My pets didn't kill my cat, but my neighbour did, and I still miss her now and have tearful moments even though she died four years ago. I lost her and then my relationship broke down and I was made redundant and I felt like my whole world was falling apart bit by bit.

I was very depressed and felt like I was just waiting for the next thing to go wrong. But things did get better over time. It was hard and I really didn't think I could cope, but somehow I did and now I am able to remember my cat fondly. I still feel bad and sad sometimes that she was taken away from me so cruelly but I know there is nothing I can do to bring her back so I have had to reach some sort of acceptance and a realisation that life is sometimes very very unfair.

I think you've had a terrible experience and it's understandable that you will still be feeling bad, it took me many months to start to feel better. But I'm sure you WILL feel better one day and be able to think only of the good times with Naya.

Sarah

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