I am on day 2 of losing my baby girl, Callie. She was the love of my life for 12 years. I still can't believe she is gone. I have been off of work since Monday afternoon, and dread going back. You are right, society doesn't understand how losing a pet that is so close to you can be one of the hardest experiences of your life. I fear of hearing the words "It was just a cat, you need to get over it" from my coworkers, or them ridiculing me for taking so much time off. I have already heard the "You need to move on" comment from my own mother, which made me realize that I don't need to talk to her about this subject anymore. Her saying that just stings, not helps.
I too, am having a hard time seeing her things and usually burst into tears every time I do. I feel as though I should get rid of her things, and remove her hair off of the couch and chair, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm not ready, and it doesn't sound like you are either, which is ok. I don't want it to seem like she was never a part of my life.
I just submitted my story and pictures of my baby to be posted as a blog on this site, and it actually felt like it helped. I still cry every time I see a picture, especially the ones I took of Callie and I the night before I had to let her go, but it also is a healing process to share those pictures with all of the people on here who understand and care. Maybe you will eventually feel the same way.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I just want you to know that you are not alone. I lost one of the best things in my life, and it's so hard.
Pamela & Mini by: Cathy, Ontario, Canada
Pamela:
I understand how you feel.
I put my 15 year old baby black & white cat Muffin to sleep on June 13, 2010 due to mouth cancer and my precious 20 year old calico cat Dutchess to sleep due to kidney disease and bladder problems on October 13, 2010. Two cats in 3-1/2 months has been very hard on me.
Fortunately I still have my "unique" black & white long haried cat Bart who is 20 years old too still with me. I am praying that God will let him live for a while longer. He has kidney disease, has lost weight but still acts like a young cat.
I can't look at their pictures without crying. My daughter did up a collage of some pictures for me and e-mailed them. I took one look and that was it. I found Dutchess's covered pet bed behind the curtains in our family room on Sunday. I forgot about it and it is out of sight. (She would go there but near the end she stayed out more and that was good) As soon as I saw it I started to cry. All the memories came flooding back of our life together (Muffin too) and the end and it was horrible. I have to admit I try not to go there. Weekends are the worse for me ( I work Monday to Friday) because I had my routine for the past 15 years with them.
Feeding only one cat seems so foreign to me. I miss them both so much and it really does hurt. I know that feeling and gut wrenching pain in your heart that comes up and the disbelief that they really are at the Rainbow Bridge.
I will keep you in my prayers.
You are not alone as another person told you.
For all of us who love our pets we understand.
Cathy
Pat by: Anonymous
I too know how you feel. But know that it gets a little better as time goes by. But you really never get over your loss. I think about my baby all the time and it has been 14 months. Keep busy as I know that helps. I look forward to seeing a picture of your beautiful Mini.
You're not alone - I know exactly how you feel by: Cindy
Dear Pamela: I just read both of your diary entries. I wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and someone truly understands. I'm feeling exactly the same way (I lost my 19-year old cat last week). I've experienced the same feelings of panic and despair... the same desire not to move any of her things... the same thoughts of "this isn't right, she should be RIGHT HERE next to me"... the same knowing that many others just don't understand how deep the attachment and feelings are.
I don't have any words of wisdom, and I certainly won't offer any platitudes. This is simply an agonizing thing to go through, and I (like you) wonder if or when it will ever get better. Please, just know that you're not alone. Someone else out here is also grieving for a beloved little one, and feeling very isolated - but finding a bit of comfort knowing there are others going through the exact same thing right this minute.
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