Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Sheila & Norman'

Still Not Sure How I Feel

Tuesday May 19, 2009

by Sheila
(Davison, MI)

Little bit of tude in this one!

Little bit of tude in this one!

It's almost the holiday weekend. Everyone is so excited about going up North. Spending 3 days camping. As for me, all I want to do is stay home. Actually, being alone is fine with me. I love to go up North, but for some reason I just don't care to go this time.

I really miss Norman, I know that he is not here, but I feel better when I am at home. I just don't know if I want to be away for 3 days. I miss him so much. The last week or so has been really hard. Every night I say my prayers, and tell Normie I love him. I cuddle his baby blanket and start to go to sleep.

Just about the time I get settled, I see my kitty. Laying on the vet table just as they are ready to put him under. I also see him gasping for air just before we decided it was time to do so. I can't bear that sight and I'm not sure why that is coming in my brain every nite. I want to remember the good. All the wonderful times we had. I just can't get that out of my head. I realize that is tramatic. But why won't it go away so I can replace his memory with good ones?

I miss my baby so much. I wish I could snuggle him one more time. Hold him at night while he sleeps.

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