Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Sheila & Norman'

Still Not Sure How I Feel

Tuesday May 19, 2009

by Sheila
(Davison, MI)

It's almost the holiday weekend. Everyone is so excited about going up North. Spending 3 days camping. As for me, all I want to do is stay home. Actually, being alone is fine with me. I love to go up North, but for some reason I just don't care to go this time.

I really miss Norman, I know that he is not here, but I feel better when I am at home. I just don't know if I want to be away for 3 days. I miss him so much. The last week or so has been really hard. Every night I say my prayers, and tell Normie I love him. I cuddle his baby blanket and start to go to sleep.

Just about the time I get settled, I see my kitty. Laying on the vet table just as they are ready to put him under. I also see him gasping for air just before we decided it was time to do so. I can't bear that sight and I'm not sure why that is coming in my brain every nite. I want to remember the good. All the wonderful times we had. I just can't get that out of my head. I realize that is tramatic. But why won't it go away so I can replace his memory with good ones?

I miss my baby so much. I wish I could snuggle him one more time. Hold him at night while he sleeps.


Click here to go straight to the next page of this diary