by Winnie Byron
(Kalamazoo MI)
I still can't believe that she is gone, the house is so empty without her. I have another adopted baby (doxie) and I am forcing myself to remember to feed her and to realize that she is grieving as well. Everything is in a fog, at times I feel like I am watching someone else doing things. Life just doesnt seem real to me right now.
I am having Trixie cremated and her remains will be back in a week or so. My God, how am I going to cope with picking up those? All I want to do is sleep, to not think about anything at all. My nephews dog tore up some tissues today all over the floor. As I picked the pieces up, I remembered Trixie loving to do the same thing. It was almost unbearable picking up those pieces of tissue.
I miss her so much, the sadness makes me feel like I am drowning. My whole body feels heavy, life is unbearable right now. I am not sure how I am going to make it through work this week. If I hear one more time, "You should be happy, she is in a better place." I may haul off and hit the person saying that. NO, I DONT FEEL BETTER KNOWING THAT!!! I wish I could go somewhere and be alone with my pain and my sorrow. Right now life is just not worth living even though I know I must go through the motions.