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Your Pet Loss Stories

'Baxter'

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I understand completely
by: Sarah G

I, too, had a similar situation. This last Monday I took my kitty Callie of 12 years to the vet for what I thought we could make it through. She was jaundiced but I had done a lot of research and found that with feeding tubes, she could have a full recovery. It turned out that she had excessive cancer in her spleen which was causing liver disease. The vet only gave her 1 or 2 days before she got extremely sick and I would need to put her down.

I took her home and loved her the best I could. I held her in my arms last night as they assisted with her passing. She was my best friend, and just like Baxter, she loved being by the fire, rolling around on her back just like your picture. My Callie again, would also follow me everywhere, even into the bathroom when I was taking a shower and would wait for me. And she would come running from the other side of the house when she heard me open a can of tuna. I felt like I didn't have enough time with her, it happened so fast and she didn't understand what I was doing to her as they were putting the catheter in her arm.

I wish I knew how to tell you the easiest way to get over this grief, but I also need to learn that for myself. The guilt I feel is unreal. Just know that you gave Baxter the best life for those 9 years, and that he loved you more than anything. Cancer is an ugly, ugly thing, and spreads so fast in cats that they usually don't give us a sign that anything is wrong until it is too late. I wish the best for you, and even though I don't know how to tell you to get through this, I hope you take comfort in knowing that you are not alone and there are people in the same exact situation as you.

Baxter
by: Diana - Newmarket Ontario Canada

Amy
I understand completely the shock you speak of.
The same thing happened to me when I was forced to make the decision to let my beautiful 12 year old doberman Leya go. We take our pets the the vet believing we will get them help, and then are suddenly faced with the fact that there is no help for them and we are going to have to let them go. I think the shocked state happens so that we can get through it for them and we can be there with them. It's the most difficult and horrible thing to have to watch someone we love so much die in front of us, but we want them to know they are loved and we are there for them, and so we stay. It is afterward that we pay heavily for this with guilt and extreme grief and haunting memories of those last minutes.
Even though the last minutes with Baxter weren't the way you would have wanted them to be, the important thing to remember is that you were with him, and that is a great and loving gift you gave him.
I think although it isn't easy, we need to try to not dwell on the last minutes, but remember all the happier times we shared with them.

I know sometimes that is easier said than done, but hopefully over time it will get easier to do.
Until then, know that you are not alone in your grief, and that there are many here who understand and are going through the same thing and want to help you through these hard times.

Take care...

Diana

Baxter
by: deb

Your Baxter sounds like an absolutely awesome cat... one of my cats likes the little butt taps too.. they think it's funny I think... anyway... I am so sorry for your loss and just know that you will be reunited with him someday... hugs...

Baxter
by: Margaret Handy-Williams, Dartmouth, NS, CA

I am VERY sorry for your loss, Baxter. He was your best friend for a lot of years. You will be soulmates in heart forever.

Margaret - hugs

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