Your Pet Loss Stories'Blue'
It's been 26 days since my beautiful beautiful Blue passed. I can't seem to come to grips with my grief. Just when I feel that I can finally talk about him and live without him I break down again. Sometimes I will be driving in the car and all of a sudden I will remember something about him and start crying or I will be at home and feel so lonely that the tears just won't stop coming.
I loved that dog with all my heart and soul. When he passed I thought I would be able to have him cremated but I had to go back the next day and pick him up. I laid him to rest in a garden made just for him. The loss I feel is like nothing I have ever felt before - I have lost human family members and did not feel this type of grief. It goes straight to my heart.
Blue was a beautiful Siberian Husky. He was 15 years and 9 months when he passed. The last year there was very little quality to his life. I knew that the end was coming near but I chose to ignore the signs and tried my best to make him comfortable. At last I had to face the fact that I was keeping him on earth for me and that was not fair to him as he was suffering. That was the hardest choice that I ever had to make in my life. I still feel regret, guilt and extreme sadness over my decision.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think and talk about Blue. I am so glad there is a way to talk about this because it seems to help. I don't know how long this grief will remain so intense but I do know that I will not try to take Blue out of my thoughts just to feel better - I want my memories to gradually become soft and easy to think about - if that makes any sense.
I keep all the hair I find around the house - being a Huskey there is lots. I have pictures of him everywhere and I talk of him often. I have wonderful memories of Blue and the great times we had together.
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