Your Pet Loss Stories

'Losing My Earth Angel'

by Kristin

I believe that God sent Mocha to me at the point of which he knew my life was going to get difficult. I had many hardships in my twenties, which Mocha was always there to lick my tears away. She did not like it when I cried. She would begin to shake and start licking my face. It always worked, I would stop crying.

I spoiled her rotten all throughout her life. She was my baby. I finally got married and had a baby by 9/12. I was so nervous that she would reject the baby because in her eyes she was "replaced". To my surprise, she loved my daughter. She would keep her distance when she thought it was necessary and came up to her and I and would start licking my daughter's face. It was so hard to try to give Mocha the attention she was used to when my daughter came. I know that it happens but, I now regret not spending the time I could have when I wasn't looking after my daughter.

Mocha was my cuddle bug. She would always sleep by me. Now, it's been 23 days since she died and I can't sleep. I wake up every 2 hours. She had congestive heart failure since she was around 5. I had to give her meds ever day to keep fluid out of her lungs. 2 weeks before she died she was fine, playing and attacking my male dog Jasper when he bugged her (happened for many years.)

The week before she died she started to cough A LOT and wouldn't move so I took her the doctor. They had to put her in a oxygen tank for 12 hours. He released her to me. The next day I took her out to potty, sat her down and she fell over. Took her to the Vet again and got a ecocardiogram, which showed the doctor what was going on and prescribed the right medicine. I took her home. She wasn't looking good. She had bloody mucus coming out of her nose. I tried to wipe it out when I could.

My dog Jasper and I were on each side of her for 3 hours. She sat up, struggled to breathe and took her last breath. I tried to give her CPR but my husband grabbed me and told me, "to let her go". I started hysterically bawling told her I loved her as her eyes glazed up. We picked her up and took her to the vet to be cremated. I received her ashes today. I had to wait a long time because the memorial company did my special requested urn.

It's been so hard and I knew it would be because I love her so much. Today, I have a void in my heart and a part of me died a little that day. I cry almost every night wishing she was cuddling right by me. I had her collar hanging on my rear view mirror in the car so every time I turned or hit a bump I could hear it jingle. It felt like she was right by me.

I went and saw 2 of her and Jasper's puppies. Mocha's daughter (little one) is the spitting image of her. I started to cry and Little one started licking my face like Mocha did. I stopped crying. So, I know Mocha lives on in her puppies. I think God knew that my life had settled down and I had a family so he decided it was time for her to come home. She had done her job and did it beautifully. I had never loved a pet more than ever. Mocha, you are in my heart always, I will NEVER forget you!

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