Your Pet Loss Stories

'Mateo'

by Víctor Benítez
(Bogotá, Colombia)

3 days ago I lost my 13 year old dog to cancer and I had to euthanize him. It was my first dog out of 2 brothers and when the other one left, I think they will be my first and last dogs because never I thought this was going to be so f***ing hard on me.

I just can cope with it right now, I'm broken and I can stop thinking about it, he died in my arms like when you try to don't fall sleep, breathing deep and closing your eyes. I guess that being so close and making it so personal as to be there when everything happened is making it more difficult but I didn't want it any other way.

I buried him on the family land I just did not want to let go of his corpse, his characteristic smell filled my senses and I knew it was going to be the last time I would feel that smell.

People told me that having his brother was going to make it easy on me but is all the opposite, I think he just don't realize that he is not coming back, always looking to the door waiting for him, sleeping on his brother's bed and barking all day, restless and not sleeping.

For some people this may be dumb and pointless, after all he is just an animal, but for me he was like a child, pure and innocent, without hidden agenda or second thoughts, a being that just wanted to be loved and loved back just as much as I loved him.

Right now I just expend all my free time with my other dog and I cry my eyes out with him and he licks me and barks at me, I love him so much and at the same time I feel so empty.

Thanks for reading this lengthy post and sorry for my English.