Your Pet Loss Stories

'My Baby Is Gone....'

by Tina Marie
(Lincoln, Nebraska)

My darling dog; Sierra died Saturday May 29th at 5:30 pm. She was 14 years and 3 months old. She was our first baby as our 1st child born is currently 13 years old. Sierra was a big great pyraneese,lab and husky dog life expectancy of 11 years old as she weighed 130 pounds.

She was always there for our family, protecting our family, watching over our 4 children as a loving mother would. She was delicate with our children letting them take bones away from her waiting patiently for our children to return them to her. She never was unkind, never complained, and was extremely liked by people and other dogs.

She was a previous gift given to us and to have her leave this world feels unbearable as she is greatly missed. I can't imagine anyone else ever taking her place.

Selfishly I want her back soooo bad, I miss her soooo much. I need to tell myself that she was very old, well beyond her life expectancy and that it was her time to go. It is so difficult to let her go as she is greatly missed and our other dog is very upset. Our other dog is 4 years old and Sierra was her mother as Patches only knew her.

Sierra was suffering from arthritis and it was difficult for her to get up on days. She always kept an appetite. She would always eat very well and drink very well. She is a beatiful girl and I hope that one day our family will be able to see her again.

We had to put Sierra to sleep. It was the hardest thing imaginable. I never wanted to make this decision and to put her life in our hands. I wanted her to go peacefully on her own time. I don't know if Sierra would have ever left. The veterinarian said all of her organs were good but her skeletal was skeptical. She had her good days and bad days.

Saturday, though I found her and she looked really really sick. She wasn't doing well. I took care of her and she could barely raise her head, she was tired and sleepy. She couldn't really walk on her own anymore and then I knew it was time. I freaked out called my husband to come home right away. She couldn't walk and I couldn't lift her to go to the vet.

My husband came home and we used a blanket to cradle her body and carried her upstairs to the car. She was helpless (never being helpless ever before) I cried. She poked her head up out of the blanket at us as she was scared too. I rode with her in the truck always petting her and looking at her. The vet told us she had a slim chance to live and given her age it may be time to go.

My husband and I never left her side and sat beside her as they shaved her leg, put a needle in her vein and administered the shot one to stop her brain from working and then ultimately her heart. Sierra's legs moved as reflexes to this shot and she whimpered not once but twice and my husband and I thought she felt pain after hearing this but it is supposed to be painless.

But Sierra never ever complained in 14 years she just wasn't that type of dog and to hear her whimper made me sick. I hope we did the right thing. Sierra kept her eyes open and the doctor told me they don't close their eyes and that she was gone. I was in shock to look in her big brown eyes and to see she was actually gone forever. I was so disheartened I hugged Sierra fiercely, kissed her head and ran out of the vet's office as I was sick and angry over everything all at once.

It has been 3 days and I am missing her and I regret sometimes my choice. All I do know is that I love Sierra more than anything. I bought her never knowing how attached I would be to her. She was my best friend and no one will ever replace her.

I love you Sierra....... forever..................................

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