Your Pet Loss Stories

'My Darling Yorkie Passed Away and On The Way Home I Suffered a Heart Attack'

by Joan
(Toms River, NJ)

On 10/7/10, my 14 year old Yorkie, Heidi, passed away suddenly. It was my day off work - and usually Heidi and I would go for a ride, go antiqueing, or just spend time together, but that particular day I had a luncheon and other unimportant things I had to do - and how guilty I feel today that her last day on earth I spent so little time with her.

When I got home around 5 pm I brought home a special treat for her and I was cutting it up and she was acting totally normal. She ran to her plate and stopped short and just stood there. I called the vet, and my daughter-in-law and we raced to the vet (with Leanne giving Heidi mouth-to-mouth to keep her alive.) When we got to the vet he said she was in "very grave" condition and would know in 15 minutes if she would make it. I was hysterical.

In 15 minutes we went in the back and I told the vet to get all the tubes off her and let her go. I whispered in her ear that I would love her forever and to go to sleep. On the way home, holding her precious body, I cried so hard my chest hurt and I knew I was having a heart attack. I took Heidi home and my son, (a doctor) and family took me to the hospital.

I was in for about two weeks and the worst part was knowing she wasn't going to be home to greet me when I went home. I wasn't even there when my family buried her. I asked my son to cut me some locks from her hair so I could wear it in my locket with her picture. He cut enough that I can hold it in my hand and I rub it on my face and pretend that I am holding her.

My heart is broken. I miss my best buddy so much and hurt so much every day. The pills help me not to cry at work but I have to force myself not to think about her. She was the perfect little companion and my soulmate. I will love her forever and the only thing that makes me bear this is to know that I never took a moment that I spent with her for granted - I held her and told her every single day how much I loved her.

I pray someday we will all be together again. Please help me.

Sincerely, Joan, Heidi's Mommy