Your Pet Loss Stories

'Onyx, My Dear Friend'

by Tonya
(DeBary, Florida, USA)

After 15 yrs of being a close friend and comfort, we had to put down our beloved dog last night. I knew it would be hard but I am hurting so bad. I can't stop crying and I'm even second guessing myself if I made the right choice.

We got him when he was 4 months old. My husband & I have been married 14 yrs and this dog has been there every step of the way. Over the past 15 yrs, we have lost several members of the family (around 17) and Onyx was a comfort through every one. I feel like his death has ended an era.

I had been going back and forth on whether or not to put him to sleep. His mind had been gone for over a year now. His back legs had become so weak that he would often fall. I was so scared that he's fall one day and break something and then he's be in pain; although I know he was in some sort of pain and stiffness daily from arthritis.

We finally made the appointment last Friday and soon after I got off the phone with the vet, he fell, and it took 15 minutes for him to get up. I thought in my heart that I had made the right decision but now that it's done, I don't know. I don't remember hurting this bad when my parents died!!! My house feels so empty. I have two other dogs and they both seem so depressed today.

I feel like I need to keep my pain to myself because so many other people have the thought that it's just a dog. Feel bad and move on and I am just so crushed! I know in my heart that it's normal to feel loss when losing a pet but I have never felt this bad and I didn't expect to feel this empty. I will miss him so much.

We are having him cremated because we will be moving and I didn't want to bury him and then leave him. I guess that's all. I just need to try everything I can to get it out. He was the most amazing animal and he never gave up. I guess I feel like I'm the one who gave up. And that's the hardest part.