Your Pet Loss Stories

'The Sweetness and Light of Snowball'

by Cyndi
(Houston, Texas)

In 1997 we went to the SPCA and got Snowball, he was a young adult cat 1 year or less. From the moment we brought him home he was such a loving affectionate boy. I called him my big fluff, he was an angora all white, he loved everyone and everything he lived to be petted. He was my middle daughters cat, but when she moved out he stayed here and became all of our cat, in the end it was me who he slept with each night.

He went through so much in this house with my crazy chaotic family and loved every crazy minute of it. My mom is in her 70's and lives with me and in the last 3 weeks he Snowball the fluff cat, he was acting different, not always where ever I was, then he was sleeping in my mom's bed sometimes. I thought maybe because she is fixing to die herself. In the window and also out on the patio when it was warm I live in Houston and it has been warm.

Anyway on Wednesday I put his breakfast out and he got on the counter and just sniffed it, didn't eat and he usually has such a robust appetite. Then that evening he was laying in the hall yowling really strangly like I have never heard, he sounded very lost, he had a far away look in his eyes. I tried to comfort him and picked him up and realized that he had wet. So the next day I took him to the vet, which he hates.

He sounded so forlorn in his cat carrier, I tried to comfort him. They said he had cystitis and gave him a shot and medicine to take home, I was preparing to have to make the decision of euthanasia, but it seems not. My daughters were there ready to tell him good bye. We gave him his meds Friday he didn't seem any better. I put him in the bathroom since he was hiding under the bed and hard to give his meds.

At 3am he yowled twice and made a funny noise I went in to check on him and pet him and he was gone. It was so strange and sad almost like he was waiting until we all had time to tell him we loved him and say good bye, almost like he was holding on till we were ready and there and the wierd thing is my middle daughter was leaving to go live in another city, so she was with him the last 2 days of his life even though she no longer lived at home.

God I miss him, I keep looking for him, keep expecting him to come in the room. Snowy I loved you so much, you were the best friend we could of had. You gave so much unconditional love, I still can't believe you are gone, it was like you made me ready and let me say good bye because you knew how much we loved you. You and I we had many talks in the last few weeks, I think you knew you were going but had to make it right for your family, you gave us a gift by preparing us. I don't think you were even mad we took you to the vet, it was like you knew we had to do everything we could so that we wouldn't feel guilty, you even saved me the pain of having to decide about euthanasia.

God I miss you, your pet brother and sister miss you too. I cried a lot yesterday and today, Pumpkin woke me up this morning confused about why you aren't here and where were you. They both seem different without you, you were the leader in your sweet silent way. And Missy and Pumpkin miss you too. Thank you for loving us and being such a loving family cat member, Missy doesn't know what to do without you here to argue with about food.

It is like a hole in our life, I know it will heal. But right now I don't want to heal, I don't want to accept that you are gone, I don't want to understand or be reasonable, I want my Snowy, to come and snuggle with me in bed. I don't like any of this, you were my friend you brought so much beauty to my life and I don't want to give that up. I am glad you didn't have to suffer long, that was gods grace.

I know I will see you again and that you had a good life and that you were always grateful for us saving you in the shelter. I love you you big fluffy food stealing cat, you didn't get old until the last few weeks and I still don't want to accept that you are gone. I couldn't sleep and I was searching for you or some part of you. You are gone and I feel like right now I have nothing, I know it is just the newness and the pain I feel in my heart, but it hurts really bad.

I know that when granny dies you will be there waiting for her and love her in spite of how mean she could be.

Thank you Snowy, thank you, for all of your everything you gave to us to make our lives better. Rest in peace you deserve the best, you gave the best. Bye My Big Fluff.

Always loving you, Cyndi

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