Your Pet Tributes

'Sydney'

by Barbara Bender
(West Islip, NY USA)

I adopted Sydney, a German/Belgium Shepherd in August 2000. I had gotten her initially for my 11 year old son, but in time, she became mine! We were best friends, she was the daughter I never had.

At 3 years old, she underwent a laryngeal tieback surgery, we taught her how to eat, drink and bark all over again. People who were not dog owners were cruel. "You spent 4 thousand dollars for surgery, dont you know they make needles for that". Heartless people.

Toys...she knew everyone by name. We had "spike" the porcupine, Bear, tire, rolly-polly. She had her toy box, and believe me, would put her toys back in the box when I told her. Long trips in the convertible, her, wearing her doggles, to protect her eyes. Slept beside me every night, and never left my side during all my surgeries or illnesses.

Now, at 10 1/2 years old, last week, she wasn't getting herself up, not eating. The vet said it was old age, and it was her hips that were the problem. Gave her pain meds and anti-inflamatory meds. Thanksgiving last week, seemed to be her best day. She even tried to steal a Turkey leg from the table. But last night, my sister called me home, as Sydney was unable to get up. When I got home, she only stood up, because I was coming in the front door where she was laying behind it. When she stood, her hind leg and front leg stretched out, and she collapsed to the floor, urinated, and labored breathing.

I called my nephew and boyfriend over, (as I just had thyroid surgery and couldn't lift her) we put her in the truck and raced over to the vet hospital. They came out with a stretcher, and she was scared, she wouldnt let them get her out. When they lifted her and put her down, she walked right into the hospital. Now I am confused as to what is going on.

Within 15 minutes, the Dr came out and said we needed to talk. Sydney was bleeding internally in her stomach, and bleeding in the pericardial sac around her heart. I was in shock. Where did this come from, and why wasn't this picked up. They said she needed 2 emergency surgeries, that the heart had to be done first, but they did not feel she would survive the heart surgery. Did we now want to put her through all of this???

After discussing with the family, who was at the hospital with me, we decided to not let her suffer anymore, especially if nothing was going to help. They brought in a comforter on the floor and brought her in. She laid down and I laid there right with her, cradling her. I think she knew. No tail wag, ears pinned back. After 15 minutes, the doctor came in, and she peacefully passed on in my arms.

There is no describing the pain I am going through. I laid in bed all day, till 4:00 pm, just crying my eyes out all day, wondering, did I miss something, the guilt. This is horrible. I look as I am typing this, her bed is still set up, her toybox filled with toys. I ordered her urn today, and Sydney will be back home with me in about 2 weeks.

I wonder, is she really over the Rainbow Bridge? Does it really exist. I sure would like to know that she is at peace and that I did the right thing, and that hopefully one day, when my time comes, she will be waiting to greet me!

RIP my little angel and know that Mommy loves and misses you so much!