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It's been almost 36 hours since I let you go. I thought putting you down would be the hardest thing that I would ever have to do. I was wrong, I have found that living without you is the hardest thing in the world. I have not washed your bowl yet and I wear your dog tags around my neck. I want so much to wrap my arms around your big neck and hug you again.
You kept me together when my whole world was falling apart. You were the other half that made me whole. Now I have to find a way to be whole without you. Buddy is also missing you. He has hardly eaten, his tail won't curl and he has no interest in playing. I know I did what was best for you, I just wish it didn't have to hurt so bad.
We had a very special relationship. One that I will treasure for the rest of my life. You came into my life unexpectedly, the decision to keep you was spur of the moment, but I can never regret it. For the last 4 1/2 years you were never more than 20 feet from me. A lot of the time you had your full 115 pounds in my lap. I miss the feel of your weight.
Hopefully soon I'll be able to visit your grave. But for now I feel as raw as the earth covering you. I love you beautiful boy, and I will until we meet again at the Rainbow Bridge.
