Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Joanna & Marshall'

About Marshall

Marshall, my ginger domestic short haired female cat.

When did you lose Marshall?

22 April 2011

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

Depression.

Joanna and Marshall's Story so far

I found Marshall when she was a few months old dumped in the gutter on one of our busiest streets. She was dirty, staring full of fleas and scared. I scooped her up in my arms and carried her home. I washed her, treated her fleas, fed her and for the next 3 days she only came out from under my bed to eat then she would run under again.

In time she began to trust me and our bond grew closer and closer. She grew to be my best friend. She was always there when I needed a hug or I was sad. She would lick my tears from my face and purr at me and look at me with her beautiful big eyes as if to say I love you no matter what.

I have 5 other cats and they all get on, but she was my favourite. She didn't sleep on my bed. She slept in my bed in my arms. Whenever I couldn't sleep I just had to cuddle her and I would drift off. We had 9 long and awesome years together.

In January of this year I noticed that her breathing was fast and she just wasn't herself. So I took her to the vet. The vet said she had a heart condition and there was nothing he could do for her. My whole world came crashing down. My heart broke. How could I not save her when she has saved me a million times. I felt stupid and useless.

I gave her her medication everyday. 3 tablets in the morning and 2 at night. I always made sure her took them. Weekly trips to the vet and all I got told was you are doing a great job keep it up. It didn't feel like a good job to me all I wanted was to make her better again. But I knew deep down it would never happen.

I watched her fade from the cat so full of life into this poor animal who could only take a few steps before having to sit due to the fliud in her belly a side effect of the medication. On the morning of 22.4.11 (Good Friday) right in front of me my little angel collapsed, had a fit and then in my arms it was like she was a toy when the batteries run out and it just slows down and then just stops. She just stopped and died.

I don't think I've ever cried so much. I held on to her for I can't remember how long. But I knew I had to give her a beautiful resting place. In the backyard. I dug a grave and wrapped her in a pink blanket and put my best friend in the ground. I go out there everyday and talk to her. Tell her I love her and I miss her so much.

It's so hard without her. I look at her photos and all I feel is sadness and loss. My heart is missing a piece and that piece is called Marshall. I know that no matter where I am or who I'm with I will always think of her.

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Your Pet Loss Diaries - 'Joanna & Marshall'

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