Your Pet Loss Stories

'My Jeter...the "spoiled child"

by Lee Redding
(Sperry, OK USA)

Jeter was an 8 year old black lab who never met a stranger. I received him as a puppy and my 15 yr old son and I spoiled him rotten. He slept on my son's chest and on Griffey, our year old lab.

He survived parvo and always had a happy smile on his face and his body language radiated love and excitement. He took me through a divorce and when my son was 21, helped me through a deployment to war....I knew I could always look forward to going home to a wagging tail, smiling face, and his "talking to me" when I pulled into the drive everyday.

He loved riding in the back of the truck, looking for minnows in the water, and chasing toys. He was always the same, never moody or grouchy or sensitive about my husband's "Jeter, get off the deck" scoldings. He took it in his stride because he knew Tom wasn't serious. He was persistent and usually got his way.

He was happiest with his human pack. He followed us everywhere. When we fed horses twice a day, we had an escort. He was always by our side...always. He never met a stranger, even the meter-reading guys threw his tennis balls for him. Everyone who knew Jeter loved him, he was such a happy little guy. He was our little "greeter" at the gate.

In August of 2007, he started limping on a front leg...it became worse and I couldn't find anything wrong with it, I thought it was a stone bruise at first. I took him to the vet and they said he had arthritis and gave us some meds. He got slowly worse. His shoulder seemed to be getting bigger so we took him back in March for an x-ray. The vet said he had a traumatic injury and it was dislocated and surgury would not help. He put him on strong pain meds and sent us home.

He seemed to stay about the same for awhile. But in July the shoulder became bigger and caused him to lay around more. It kept progressing bigger and I knew we had to do something. I wanted to explore amputation as an option. We took him back a third time and he wasn't using the leg at this point. The vet looked at him, felt of his shoulder and said, "There's nothing I can do, he has cancer." I guess I had suspected it in the back of my mind but hearing it was like a punch in the gut. I cried. My husband tried to console me on the way home but I knew our time together was numbered.

On August 27th, on my son's 23rd birthday, I did the last thing I could do for my little companion. He started to hurt more. He refused to eat, I had to force his medicine down his throat. I knew the end was near. My husband dug his grave on Tuesday night in a pretty spot we picked out in the yard. I sat there with him on the ground that night and petted him and talked about how I didn't want him to suffer, about how good a boy he was and how I didn't know how I was going to go on without him. I told him over and over how much I loved him and kissed the top of his head.

The next morning he seemed a little more alert but still wasn't getting up. I knew what I needed to do.. All day at work, I secretly cried between my classes of kids. After school, I pulled into the drive and it was the only time Jeter did not hobble over to greet me. I knew he was bad.

I called the vet and scheduled a 4:00 appt. I backed my truck up to him and called him. He sat up but didn't move. I dropped the tailgate. He slowly limped to the back and put his good paw on the tailgate, I lifted him into the truck. As we went down the drive, he put his paw on the side, he watched our property as we went down the fenceline. After we got past our property line, he lay down, something he never did when healthy..I drove slowly ...I dreaded it so badly....I wanted the vet to come out to the truck, I didn't want him to have to make the walk into the office.

At 4:10 the vet came out and I told him, "Doc, he's getting worse, I don't want to see him suffer anymore." He said he understood and positioned him for the injection. He couldn't find his vien. It took him 3 or 4 tries before he hit it, I think Jeter was dehydrated....My heart hurt for him because he didn't like the needle sticks....I had to stop myself from stopping the vet. When the vet pushed the plunger, Jeter had a look of uncertainty on his face that was heart-wrenching...I did my best to console him and talk to him. I told him it was alright and to relax and go to sleep....I knew I was petting him for the last time.

My heart was in agony with grief...I was crying and I watched those beautiful, loving, trusting brown eyes get dimmer and dimmer...His body was twitching and his breathing stopped. I knew his brain was not yet dead and kept talking to him for 15 minutes. I cried and petted and held his body as it twitched for the last time on this earth.... I kept thinking that I could have kept him alive for another week....maybe two....but I knew what had to be done was inevitable....I didn't want him to be in agony because of my selfishness. I got into the truck, screamed his name and cried like I had never cried for another living being before....I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and my stomach had been stomped on. I cried so hard I almost could not see the road to drive.

When I got home, I pulled his body on my son's baby blanket and carried him to his grave. I laid him out and let the other 3 dogs come to him. I put my head on his body and let my crying out calling out to him telling him I loved him and wanted him back....

I called my husband and told him Jeter was gone. He left football practice and came home and we buried him together. We cried by his grave as we held on to each other. I am having a little headstone made by our art teacher. I planted little purple flowers for him and put a little black lab statue at the head of his grave.

It has been 2 days and I am still in deep grief, the kind that makes me cry all through the day and night. I am reminded of him at every turn. It is hard at home. I miss him so much and cry regularly. I want to see him so badly, to touch him again and to look into those trusting loving eyes. He adored his human pack as much or more, if possible than we adored him.

I have always known something for sure about Jeter and that was: His main concern and function on this earth was to love and to be loved....and he did both better than any human could for his love and trust and forgiveness was purely unconditional....his love was a rare kind, his soul was generous and his worth was priceless.....

I willl NEVER EVER forget my Jeter and I long for the day when I see him again without that body that failed him to run after toys once again and to be where he wanted to be the most, by the side of his human companion, the one that always told him "Mommie loves you!"