Your Pet Loss Stories

'Rufus'

by Becky
(USA )

What do I say about Rufus? The tears are brimming now and finally, I don't want them to stop. I have kept them in for so long, nearly three months, and a stint with a psychiatrist to see what happened to me - a nervous breakdown, anxiety or just plain and simple depression, caused by the loss of a dog who was my life and my focus.

I have been through every emotion possible, hiding the true facts. I miss my dog.

I had to have him put to sleep, though he might have lived for a number of years, he was in pain, itching and crying all the time, and not comfortable.

I was about to move on to be a teacher and he was handicapped and I couldn't see putting him up for adoption or anything else.

Were my reasons selfish? He had lived a number of good years. I feel so very guilty because I told him I would never do that to him. I was not able to give him the time he needed, but when we were together, we were together somewhat, when I was not on the computer doing work. His allergies were not getting better and the doc didn't know what to do.

I miss him and I am so sorry for doing that. What do I do now? It has been so disabling to even go on. And to top that off, I had some hormone issues and thyroid imbalances. And now side effects from medicines. And it hit me tonight hard, as the storm came and I prayed about fears and anxieties, it was my dog. I went to some pictures I had left of him and just started to cry.

Please forgive me, Rufie.
I love you!