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I read your story and cried, because I'm Clover's Mom and I come back to her page and read what I wrote. Then I came to your story and the reference you made about Lily hanging on just like Clover, was sweet.
I wish too that I could start 10 years ago and get Clover again as a puppy. Grief is such a trying time, isn't it? I'm sorry to hear about your cat. You had her almost twice as long as I had Clover.
Take comfort in knowing we did the best we could for our "babies". There is an emptiness without caring for them, I understand this completely. I am learning a new routine now, going on my second week. We'll just take one day at a time. I hang on the hope that time will heal us.