(Santa Fe, TX)
I drove to Houston today and, all I could have thought about was you, so I just cried whenever I could (it's even worse when you cannot even cry when you want to, because most of people simply do not understand). I am still in 'seclusion,' so I didn't see anyone who would ask about you. It will be a long time until I can really talk about you to many people.
I feel bad for Bud and Duke, because I only cooked meat once since you've been gone, and that was Monday. It was the saddest, because you were here for every meal and event for 8 years. I know I won't be cooking nearly as much as when you were here anymore, but I guess when I get back on Feb. 5, I will cook just once a week for them; I don't think I could any more than that, it's way too sad without you, my golden child.
Some of your favorite toys, bowls and special beds will always be here, so please come visit and stay if you could.
Today, for the first time since you've left me, I looked at your picture of when you first walked into our home. I cried so much, I don't think I will show them to anybody.
Oh, Charlie, you are the most precious boy in every way, one in a billion. Pretty soon, the Spring will be here without you and I'm so afraid how sad it will be, because that's when you moved in with us--one Spring day, that was beautiful 8 years ago, but now the saddest, and I have no idea how I am going to face it.
Charlie, you know how to make things easier and make me happier. I hope to see you in my dreams very soon, at least.
Love you and miss you very much.
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