Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Diane & Pasha'

About Pasha

Pasha's nickname was baby sis, sissy girl. She was a little brown and white Shih Tzu, very tiny little girl who never hurt, or bit anyone or any animal in her whole life.

When did you lose Pasha?

I lost my Pasha after having this little angel in my life for 15 wonderful years, she had cancer in her mouth, and kidney failure, I made the hardest decision to put my little girl to sleep, I knew God was telling me it was time. I was with my Pasha when she took her last breath, I was holding her and whispered in her ear that I loved her so much and I will never stop loving her.

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

Or how are you feeling right now?

I feel empty, I feel guilty cause I still question my decision, even though my vet said it was time, and that Pasha was telling me she wanted to go. I feel angry like I want to scream . One minute I am okay. And next I think of her and I cry uncontrollably, I see her every where in my house, sometimes I think I can still hear her.

Diane & Pasha's Story so far

Pasha loved to just sit by me, happy to just be there and wanted me topet her. She was so cute when she was younger, she would sit up on her hind legs. As she grew older, she could not sit up and beg, so she would just bark to get my attention.

Today my little Pasha lost her battle of cancer. She was 15 years old, and today her little body gave up her fight, she has also been battling kidney failure. Today she could not fight anymore as her frail little body was telling me she wanted me to let go, she lost controll of all her body functions, and when I called the vet, she told me it was time.

I was with her when she took her last breath. My last words to her was to tell her I love her so much. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. But as I held her for the last time, I could almost feel the peace in her little body, and it was like she was telling me, thank you mommy, this is not goodbye, it's just I will be waiting for you with my little brother Odie, and we will be there waiting for you to cross the rainbow bridge and we will all be together again.

My little angel slept beside me for 15 years. My bed, my world, my life feels so empty, I pray God will give me the strength to know I did the right thing.

Good nite my little Pasha, I know you are with angels and your little brother Odie. I love you so much, I will think of you every day the rest of my life.

I will have a whole in my heart that I don't think with ever go away. My Pasha will be cremated and when I die my wishes are for her to be buried with me.

Click here to return to the Your Pet Loss Diaries Index Page

Click here to return to the Pet Loss Matters Homepage