Your Pet Loss Diaries'Dea & Samantha'
Jan 13, 2013
Hey honey bear ~Click here to go straight to the next page of this diary
Well my love ~ today is day 107. I miss you more and more with each passing second. I can’t handle this. The more I think about you, the crazier and sadder I get but I can’t not think about you. So, what am I supposed to do? What else? I think about you all the time and just get crazier and sadder.
My favorite and worst moment is that split second when I start to wake up and I’m between awake and asleep ~ before I have time to realize and remember that you’re not here. Too bad I can’t figure out how to stay in that in between place, if not forever at least longer.
I guess I am adjusting in my own way ~ before when I woke up and you weren’t there with me, I would panic, look around the room for you, then jump up and go find you. Now: when i wake up and you’re not there, I still look around and panic and I jump up and by that time I remember and lay back down. Before: I hoped you would jump in the window but knew you couldn’t. Now: I know you can’t but hope you will.
I still tell people when asked that I have 3 cats. I know I only have 2 but they don’t . . . although they probably wonder why I’m crying when I say I have 3. I know but they don’t.
Well my love, your daddy should be out on the 24th. I wonder if you would even remember him after 18 months. As you know, I wrote and told him about what happened and in his letter back to me, he said that maybe you died to get us back together . . . because if you had not died I never would have written to him. I pray that’s not true. I do not plan on getting back together with him so if it’s true, then you will have died for nothing.
I swear my baby ~ if there was a way I could know for sure that we would be together, I swear I would join you. But with my luck, I can’t take that chance and hope it’s true when it’s my time.
Anyway my girlie girl ~ I love and miss you ~ you are always in my head and heart . . .
I just want my cat back!! I just want my cat back!!
i just want my Sammy back!!
Click here to read or post comments
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Your Pet Loss Diaries - 'Dea & Samantha'.