Your Pet Loss Diaries

June 22, 2011

by Jennifer
(USA)

I have a neighbor who has a white kitty. It's hard to look their way when he takes her out on the grass to play.

I feel relief Sugar isn't suffering anymore, because towards the end of her life was so difficult, seeing her getting sicker and sicker.
This void and loss is very painful. I won't ever get over it, she was my baby, we lived together, just the two of us, for a total of 11 years, out of her long 17 years. Total 13 years, 2 years with them.. with my parents, after I adopted her when she was 6.

So, of course the grieving process is going to be hard. At one point I felt a little lonely, and she helped me so much by being a best friend and companion even tho I've many friends. At my loneliest, she was such an angel.

It's tough. I don't wish pet loss on anyone.

I felt guilt many times leaving her behind at home when I left the house, and now I feel guilt when I leave that I can come and go as I please. Ahhh. Guilt. Such a useless emotion.

What wonderful little being she was in the physical realm. Really the sweetest feline I've known. Just sweet and never hissed or scratched or acted intimidating. Not once.
I just wish I can hold her and hear her little voice again. That's what hurts the most.

Still.. reminding myself, like I've written before, she's here, in her little box, and not in some pet cemetery somewhere.

I just miss this little kitty more than anything.

Love you Sugar.

Love,

Mommy.