Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Meg & KC'

Three Months and the Pain is Still Strong

Aug 11, 2010

by Meg Loftheim
(Lakeland, FL,USA)

KC, I know it has been three months and I should be feeling better about the fact that you are well and whole again and hopefully running around with Harley and keeping Gaggi company. He always loved you even though he never could figure out if you were male or female. There are times when the pain isn't so bad and then I look at your picture and miss your funny face and little warm body.

I miss you so much when I come home. I still look for you on the patio. I had to go to Philadelphia this past weekend to say good bye to my own mother. She is not well. Looking at her I just wanted to be able to hold her and make her better. I could not just like I couldn't make you better. I wanted to, heaven knows I wanted to. When I travelled I took your quilt with me. I may be crazy, but your blanket makes me feel so much better.

Oh, KC, will the pain ever seem less real. Will the tears ever go away. Will I ever just think of the fun times... we had so many. I still see you each night. I sometimes almost trip over you even though you aren't here-well maybe I am feeling your presence. I must be or I wouldn't step over you. I look for you in the kitchen when I fix dinner. You always knew when food was being prepared. I still think about you when I am buying fish. I want to buy extra because I know you like it so much. I cooked a chicken and wanted to chop some up for you. I go to the store and walk down the kitty aisle looking at the food and wanting to stock up on litter.

I know you will never be replaced but I hope in time I can have another kitty to love. I am so empty. I am trying KC to understand you were sick and needed to to to heaven but I am so selfish, I wanted you always to be with me. Your daddy is still suffering. I can tell when I mention your name. When I said it was three months since you left us, his expression was so sad. We both miss you so much. Be happy KC until we are all together again. We love you and miss you,

Hugs and kisses,

Mom and Dad

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