Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Tom & Sam'

About Sam

Sam's Mom was a German Shepherd/Husky mix, and her Dad was the orange Chow seen jumping over the fence. Sam was a reddish brown with thick fur, a somewhat curly tail and beautiful golden eyes.

When did you lose Sam?

We sent Sam home to God (I hope!) on May 21, 2011. She had lost so much weight and nothing seemed to work to help her regain it. This was the hardest thing I have ever chosen to do.

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

I am struggling with doubt about the afterlife, and whether or not I will ever see this beautiful soul again.

Tom and Sam's Story so far

I met Sam the day she was born, and my sister told me she was "mine." What she meant was that I was Sam's human for her entire life. I was Sam's just as surely as she was mine.

She started having seizures in 2004, and was prescribed phenobarbitol. (Toxic!)

In 2011, she dropped 18 pounds in 1 month, and I knew something was terribly wrong. I was going to take her to the "Vet Specialists" to find out what "it" was, and then would have had to make the decision to have surgery or treatment for whatever "it" was.

At 14 years old, I knew that any surgery would be risky enough, and that with the weight loss I did not think she would survive. Had I thousands and thousands of dollars to care for her, I would have. But I didn't. I couldn't do what I wanted to do.

She looked like a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp, she had lost so much weight.

I decided to "put her to sleep" on May 21, 2011. I pray she will forgive me if there was some other course of action I did not consider. This is by far the hardest choice I have ever made. Was it the right one?

Doubt torments me about the afterlife, I have enough questions about my own destiny, but what happens to the animals we love so much? Where do they go? IS there a place for them in God's heaven? Will my doubt keep me out?

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Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Tom & Sam'

Relief From The Pain

Sep 3, 2011

I want to feel peace in my heart again, the peace I felt when walking with Sam through the woods, the peace when she came to me for anything, and the peace …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Tom & Sam'

Memories Are All That Is Left

July 17, 2011

All I have left of Sam's life are the photos I took of her while she slept in our bed, rode in our car, and anything in between. I have her bowls, her …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Tom & Sam'

Memorial for Sam

July 2, 2011

I ordered a slate memorial for Sam's place in my sister's yard. I thought about it long and hard because it doesn't make sense to some people to spend …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Tom & Sam'

Doubt Torments Me

June 24, 2011

It has been more than a month since I put my friend Sam to sleep. She was such a beautiful dog, so sweet, and so loving. I have doubts about my own "salvation," …

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