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'Your Pet Loss Diaries''Jenny & Nikki'
About Nikki
My mother's best friend and close friend of the family was Blanca. Blanca's only real family was her mother who passed away and then us and her dogs. She loved her dogs more than anything. Then Blanca got sick and went to the hospital, the whole time she was only worried about her dogs and what would happen to them. She never made it home. I volunteered to take on her 2 little dogs and bring them into my home. One was a chihuahua who had a heart condition, his name was Chuckie. I loved that little dog until the day we had to put him down due to seizures... that was hard. While Chuckie was with us, I put all my love and affection towards him and pretty much ignored Nikki because she was a spunky healthy little girl that I didn't think needed me as much. Once Chuckie passed, all of a sudden I saw Nikki and realized how cute and lovable she was... she became my little shadow.. the love of my life. I took her everywhere and everyone thought she was the cutest thing. She slept on the bed much to my boyfriend's protest and always got a little extra love than the other 2 pets we had in the home. (My boyfriend's dog and a stray we picked up after Chuckie). Nikkie was healthy and fine... and then yesterday I got a call at work from my boyfriend to hurry and come home. When I got here, she had already died. One of our other pets, Chance or Roxie, had bitten her in the neck and she was gone. I still can't believe it and I still completely expect to see her around my feet even as I write this. I don't know how to move on yet. I called into work and so did my boyfriend. My Mom is pretty upset too since this was the last thing she had from her best friend Blanca. I feel so heartbroken... sad... lonely... really guilty, I keep thinking if only I had left work on time and come home maybe I would've done something differently. I hate that she was healthy and didn't have to die... I'm angry at both dogs remaining because I dont' know which one could do this. They have been with each other for over 6 months and I NEVER thought this would happen. I didn't sleep but maybe an hour last night... I've been crying non stop since... my head hurts so much it feels like it's going to explode and my eyes are so swollen I look like I have double eyelids... I made my boyfriend take his dog to his Mom's and the other dog is in it's crate and has been there all day... I don't know what to do... do I get rid of him?? It hurts so bad... I've been through this twice before but each of those times were due to euthanasia and I knew it was coming... this time it was so unexpected. I always wondered which was worse... knowing it's coming and making that choice or not knowing and it happening out of the blue... I have my answer... the worst one is the one that you're going through... I love my little precious Nikki and I am so so lost without her.
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