'Your Pet Loss Diaries'

'Jenny & Nikki'

About Nikki

Nikki my white/beige Pomeranian - the cutest most adorable little doggie.

When did you lose Nikki?


At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

Still a little in denial...

Jenny and Nikki's Story so far

My mother's best friend and close friend of the family was Blanca. Blanca's only real family was her mother who passed away and then us and her dogs. She loved her dogs more than anything. Then Blanca got sick and went to the hospital, the whole time she was only worried about her dogs and what would happen to them. She never made it home.

I volunteered to take on her 2 little dogs and bring them into my home. One was a chihuahua who had a heart condition, his name was Chuckie. I loved that little dog until the day we had to put him down due to seizures... that was hard. While Chuckie was with us, I put all my love and affection towards him and pretty much ignored Nikki because she was a spunky healthy little girl that I didn't think needed me as much. Once Chuckie passed, all of a sudden I saw Nikki and realized how cute and lovable she was... she became my little shadow.. the love of my life.

I took her everywhere and everyone thought she was the cutest thing. She slept on the bed much to my boyfriend's protest and always got a little extra love than the other 2 pets we had in the home. (My boyfriend's dog and a stray we picked up after Chuckie). Nikkie was healthy and fine... and then yesterday I got a call at work from my boyfriend to hurry and come home. When I got here, she had already died. One of our other pets, Chance or Roxie, had bitten her in the neck and she was gone.

I still can't believe it and I still completely expect to see her around my feet even as I write this. I don't know how to move on yet. I called into work and so did my boyfriend. My Mom is pretty upset too since this was the last thing she had from her best friend Blanca. I feel so heartbroken... sad... lonely... really guilty, I keep thinking if only I had left work on time and come home maybe I would've done something differently. I hate that she was healthy and didn't have to die...

I'm angry at both dogs remaining because I dont' know which one could do this. They have been with each other for over 6 months and I NEVER thought this would happen. I didn't sleep but maybe an hour last night... I've been crying non stop since... my head hurts so much it feels like it's going to explode and my eyes are so swollen I look like I have double eyelids... I made my boyfriend take his dog to his Mom's and the other dog is in it's crate and has been there all day... I don't know what to do... do I get rid of him??

It hurts so bad... I've been through this twice before but each of those times were due to euthanasia and I knew it was coming... this time it was so unexpected. I always wondered which was worse... knowing it's coming and making that choice or not knowing and it happening out of the blue... I have my answer... the worst one is the one that you're going through... I love my little precious Nikki and I am so so lost without her.

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Click on the links below to read more of 'Jenny & Nikki's Diary

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Jenny & Nikki'

Day 8

January 28, 2011

Yesterday marked the one week mark without you. It came fast even though each day was so long... Yesterday was such a good day... work was good and then …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Jenny & Nikki'

Day 6

January 26, 2011

Today is day 6... I woke up early and can't go back to sleep. We went to a support group last night and it was really nice. There were only a few people …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Jenny & Nikki'

Day 5

Jan 25, 2011

Yesterday was a good day. My Mom played hookie and so did my boyfriend and we all went to Castroville to get away. We went to visit all the little landmarks …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Jenny & Nikki'

Day 4 Without Nikki

Jan 24, 2011

It's the morning of day 4 and I still can't believe this happened. Yesterday was a really hard day because we brought home Baby Girl. I watched Baby …

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