Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Connie & Old Man Jack'

About Old Man Jack

I got Jack when he was 2 hours old.

When did/may you lose Old Man Jack?

18th January 2013

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

Or how are you feeling right now?

 I'm still lost in the moment of his death.  My life has not moved forward.  I'm stuck.

Connie & Old Man Jack's Story so far

I got Jack when he was 2 hours old. His mom had 11 pups and 9 were still born. The owner asked me if i could take care of them through the week and she would pick them up on weekends, so I took Jack and Jill and raised them on an eye dropper. 

After the first week there was just no way that I could let them go anywhere so of course I kept them. When they were 6 years old I left them with a friend who made a terrible mistake and Jill was run over and died from her injuries. Jack and I were in total devastation. I couldn't keep him from laying in the same spot in the road where Jill died. Out of fear of losing him too I sold house and moved. 

13 days ago he fell on some ice and broke a knee cap on 1 back leg and dislocated the other. A trip to the vet for x-rays and blood work showed the extent of his injuries and also that he was a diebetic. My vet put him on insulin and from there we were sent to Louisville, Kentucky for an ultrasound. Had the ultrasound done on Monday 1-14-13 and came home on Wednesday 1-16-13. He was very sick so I rushed him back to Louisville. 

They said it was something to do with his pancreas. I'm not a vet so I don't understand their language, but I was told that on a scale of 1-10 and 10 being the worst that Jack was a 7. But I was also told that they had seen worse. They kept him and started him on fluids and pain meds for the first time in our 15 years together we were separated. 

I went home took a shower and drove the 2 1/2 hour drive back. When I got there I was with him when a vet came in to talk to me. He assured me that Jack would be coming home on Sunday 1-20-13. I came home again with full intentions of going back the next morning. At midnight I got a call that they had to put in a catheter. At 3 am I got a call that I needed to get on the road cause something was very wrong.

When I got there he was gasping for air and when I said his name he opened his eyes and looked at me like he was begging me to make it stop. That's exactly what I did. I stopped his pain and started mine. I know it's only been less than 48 hours ago since he passed but my pain seems to just keep growing worse by the minute. 

For 15 years I have never left my house without him even when I go to work he comes with me. I can't be home and I can't be at work cause everything just screams his name. I am so lost and devastated. The tears keep coming. There's got to be some out there that know how I feel and can help me cope with this.

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