Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Barbara & Pebbles'

About Pebbles

Pebbles was a 12 yr old pitt bull who was handicapped after being hit by a motorcycle 3 yrs ago.. she lived a great life even with her disability she was very protective over me, she loved me unconditionally.

When did you lose Pebbles?

I lost my Pebbless 12/11/2010 at 10:30pm she was sick for about a week I thought she was getting better the day she passed away. I layed by her most of the day, later that night she started to breathe heavily.. I was going to walk to get a soda, she seen me and gave me this look like please don't leave me so I didn't leave I layed beside her, held her then she took her last breathe in my arms, God I miss her so much.

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

I'm at the stage of missing her horrifically, I feel like if only I would of did this different or did I do anything wrong, I feel I can't live without her my heart aches so bad I am so lost without her. I keep waiting for my dog to be on her bed, I can't stand the thought of her being buried in the ground.

I just wish I knew if I could of saved her what did I do wrong I want my dog back so bad, knowing I'll never see her again is so heart breaking I wake up hoping it's a dream. I dont know what stage of grief I'm in.. I'm lost without my baby girl.

Barbara and Pebbles' Story so far

I got Pebbles when she was 6 weeks old. She was a frisbie freak she loved chasing the frisbie. I could spell the words play and toy and she knew what I was spelling.. She guarded me she wanted noone near me.. before her injury if someone would sit on the sofa near me she would get on the sofa, crawl over my shoulders and block my face so whoever was next to me wasn't next to me anymore, she was a very playful dog I can't explain the bond we had but it was wonderful..

When I would be gone for 4 hours or more when I came home she would get so excited she would bark and bark for 15 minutes when I would take a shower she would be by the door when I came out.. How do I live without her?? I just don't know. Because of my dog I got kicked out where I lived so I lived in my car for months cos I would not get rid of my dog we were a team.. I know she loved me unconditionally, I believe she hung as long as she could for me. I told her to go to heaven if she needed to. And she did.. So how do I go on without her?? She was my everything Thank you for listening.

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