Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle', USA

About Silverbelle

Silverbelle who was silver in color was someone who loved to follow me around. She loved to have our kitchen sink on and play with the water. She was a gentle soul who greeted everyone at my front door with her special charm. She loved the Christmas song Silver Bells hence the name.

When did you lose Silverbelle?

I lost my baby in the early morning hours on 25 Sep 09.

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

Inconsolable.

Chris and Silverbelle's Story so far

My life with her started in Oct 2002. I went to the local animal shelter to find a companion to our two elderly cats. As I was looking around there was this paw stuck out of the cage as if to say "choose me". I asked if I could have a quick visit. We were in this room and she kept sucking on my t-shirt for comfort. If anyone said that love at first sight does not exist they are wrong because it happened to me.

My little girl would walk me to the door when I would leave for work and would be at the door when I got home. She did not like it when I went on trips especially when she saw the suitcase. At an early age, she had inflammatory bowel disease. So had always been in delicate health. Through the years, we had together there have been ups and downs with her health. When she was sick she would have the saddest look on her face that would simply break my heart. Visits to the vets were a nightmare she hated vets with a passion.

On 13 Sep I had to take a business trip while I was away my husband kept telling me how depressed she was. I cut my trip short to fly back. We were so happy to see each other. From there it seemed her health had went down hill. There was visits to the vet she would come home okay after having meds but the next day she was back to square one. I was a mess did not know what to do. So last night, me and my husband made the decision to have her admitted to the pet hospital. She was weak and as she was put on an IV drip with her cage door opened I simply held her and sung her favorite song Silver Bells.

She was in pain and growled at me a few times. I had been there for almost 3 hours so we had to go home since we had work the next day. As we were leaving my husband noted how she gave us this "look" of sadness as she was saying good bye. I did not pay attention at the time. I went to church last night and prayed for her recovery. The vet called me last night to say she was pretty bad she might now make it. My faith told me otherwise.

I got the call this morning she had passed away and I started crying as if my heart would break. My co-workers thought there was a death in the family. All I told them a relative had died. I did not want to tell them I was grieving for a cat. Me and my husband went to view her body to obtain some sort of closure. She looked as she did the night before lying on her side with her eyes opened. She looked as though she was still alive although her body was cold I started to cry begging her to please wake-up come back to your momma. I felt as though my world came down on me that I have nothing left. So it was hard to leave her but I did.

It is the evening hours, and I am still crying. My other cats are depressed because they know something is wrong. I have a white t-shirt she slept on when she died. I hold it close thinking it might bring me comfort or her back but it will not. My little girl is gone and I simply do not know how I can go on. Although my husband cried to and is understanding I simply miss her and feel a part of me is gone. I know she did not suffer but it does not make my loss any easier.


Your Pet Loss Diaries - 'Chris & Silverbelle'

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Read more diary entries

Click on the links below to read more of 'Chris & Silverbelle's' Diary

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

May 2010
 
It has been a while since I wrote. To start off with we got a new addition. She reminds me so much of my beloved Silverbelle but I did not get her as …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

March 2010
 
It is hard to believe that it has been 6 months since my little girl is gone. There is not a day that goes by that I do not wish for you to be here by …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

Feb 2, 2010

 
It still hurts when I think about my baby being taken away from me too soon. It always hurts when the death of someone you love comes. We had 5 cats …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

Feb 1, 2010
 
It's been five months and there is not a day or a moment that goes by that I do not think of my little girl. My husband says that now that she has died …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

A Sad Year

Jan 3, 2010

 
I have not written in a few weeks because I am again dealing with another health crisis. My eldest cat who is 17 years old has a mass pressed against …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

My First Christmas Without You...

Dec 24-25, 2009

 
My baby belle, I did not put up a tree this year. I have been depressed because you are not here to enjoy this Christmas with your family. You do not …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

10 Weeks Holiday Blues

Dec 12, 2009

 
I am adamant this year that there will not be a Christmas Tree. I just cannot imagine celebrating a time of the year that meant the world to my little …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

Christmas

9 Dec, 2009

 
After finding out that my youngest cat Santino is okay after all. Simply emotionally drained. It does not feel like Christmas and I simply do not want …

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'Chris & Silverbelle'

9 Weeks and Now More Sad News

Dec 4, 2009

 
I felt a sense of loss because my baby was not here with us to celebrate Thanksgiving. Normally, she would be assisting me with cooking the meal by literally …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

7 Weeks
A Surprise Arrived For Me in the Mail

Nov 20, 2009

 
Dear Bip-bip (her nickname), Well sweetheart, Daddy and I always talk about you and how it feels so empty without your loving presence around us. We …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

6 Weeks Now

Nov 10, 2009

 
I took a break from writing to try and come to terms. I have her photo as my background picture at work. So that I can look at her everyday. Tonight, …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

One Month Since You Left My Life

24 Oct 09

 
It has been a month since my little girl was taken away from me. During that time, I have cried and grieved for the love of my life. Her other cat-buddies …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

3 Weeks

16 Oct, 09

 
Well it has been three weeks since my little girl has been gone. During this past week, my husband swears he has heard her meow, and felt her brush up …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

Two Weeks Since My Little Girl Has Been Gone

Oct 9, 2009

 
While others look forward to Fridays, I start to loathe them. If you are reading this and asking why well the answer is that my little girl died two weeks …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

Signs From My Little Girl?

Oct 4, 2009

 
One whole week without my little girl has been hard to bear at times. But I feel at peace knowing I have her ashes at my bedside. I have prayed and asked …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

She is Back With Me

30 Sep 2009

 
As I arrived home this afternoon at 16:30 hours I was listening to my voice mail messages. One of them was from the vet clinic letting me know that my …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

The First Week Without My Baby

28 Sep 09

 
The weekend was horrid, all I did was remember her and cry. I felt so alone and desolute. My husband, was just as miserable and angry as I was. We kept …

Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Chris & Silverbelle'

The Next Day

26 Sep 2009

 
It is 26 Sep 09, and it has been 27 hours since I was told of her death. Both me and my husband did not sleep at all last night. Kept surfing the Internet …

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